Going in reverse order, I completely agree that the last few years provided terrible clarity as to how people would have acted in Hitler's Germany. And unfortunately the answer for most was: exactly like the good, little Nazis they love to wag their fingers at.
As for why he felt so strongly about that particular issue? Only he knows. And God, if you're so inclined. I do believe that, right or wrong, the old adage is largely true when it comes to how people process atrocity: one death is a tragedy, a million deaths is a statistic. Acts such as his are, in my humble opinion, rarely predicated solely on some cold calculus, on crunching the numbers, as it were, and arriving at some qualitative "greatest" or "largest" evil. Perhaps he had some personal experience or connection with the events in Gaza. Perhaps his involvement in the military. Perhaps the visceral nature of the violence there and U.S. military complicity that he felt forced his hand. Perhaps he was influenced by friends, peers, or media. Perhaps it was personal demons clouding his judgment. Again, I don't presume to have that answer, nor would I presume to tell a man what he should or shouldn't die for.
I often come back to the quote from Krishnamurti: "It is no measure of health to be well-adjusted to a profoundly sick society." Sadly, my friend, we do indeed live in a profoundly sick society, yet it is almost invisible most of the time as we are so accustomed to it. Once one begins to see it, there is no shortage of terrible tragedies all trying to pull us down to the crushing depths, nor shortage of consternating crimes being perpetrated against us, driving us to the brink of desperation and, for some, over that precipice and into the screaming abyss beyond. I wish Bushnell had not chosen that path. I do not wish that for anyone. Anyone. But, it was his choice to make: his life, and his death. His final message.(Unless, of course, terrifyingly, it actually wasn't his message but a viral narrative of sorts that hijacked him and used him for its own ends). I only hope that we can all find the strength to keep on living, and in doing so, to continue to wrestle with all spiritual wickedness in high places despite how overwhelming the number and degree. And see Fauci tried for crimes against humanity.
It's important to jail Fauci, but he's not at the top of the genocidal grifter heap. Those at an equal level to and above him need to be tried and sentenced for such crimes as well. What's outrageous to me is that these genocidal maniacs never get prison sentences and walk free and get millions of dollars in book royalties.
Performative activism reaches a new low. Tragic that a young man would waste his life in such a horrific way. Imagine the hell a person would have to be living in to conceive of and go through with something like this.
Reminds me of this old line from a lost age in comics.
"I am alone. I look to the heavens and think them empty. And if not empty, I find the idea of worshipping whatever dwells there obscene. It doesn't change what is right. If there is nothing in this world but what we make, brothers... Let us make good." -Beta Ray Bill
Great quotation. Powerful stuff and tragically apt. I was just talking with a friend about BRB actually. I suspect that speech had to be Walt Simonson writing, right?
I have no idea. I got into comics through 4chan /co/ just in time for it to truly shit up, and proceeded to jump ship into 40k.
So I got a lot of the heartfelt messages and moments of glory, but none of the context. Except for Grant Morrison. We all deep dived on that wizard/charlatan. Hypercrisis threads were a hell of a trip.
When I read your thoughts, saw the images, and found myself crying throughout reading this post, I knew I had to subscribe. I'm sorry I am poor and can only be a free subscriber but thank you for writing this and honoring these men's hearts - not portraying them as madmen.
Thank you so much for the kind words and subscription. I sincerely appreciate both. And don't give the money a second thought; it may sound trite, but I am just honored that you took the time to read this and that the article resonated with you.
As a writer, I never really know how well my intent will come across, but you perfectly described what I earnestly endeavored here--to eschew the usual overbroad political pabulum and pat judgments, and instead reflect on two men whose hearts compelled them to take extraordinary action. I didn't feel like I could provide many answers, but I could at least present some unique context (being a fan of mythology) and some hopefully thoughtful questions.
The actions of these men were extraordinary (in the literal sense), worthy of attention--as I believe all lives are when we stop to look closely enough--yet still I was overcome by the Millerian tragedy of how insignificant it all felt at the same time. The bittersweet sadness of the most notable thing in one's life being their death. But, might that not then be of paramount importance in the life beyond? I felt that may speak to all of us in some way as we struggle to make sense of our lives and make the choices we'd like to define us.
Anyway, I'm getting off the beaten path here again haha. So, thanks again!
You give much thought to what you write and what you think about. How, in some circles, suicide, no matter what the intent or what is in someone's heart, as was in these two men's, is frowned upon - as 'selfish,
as 'bad karma' for the hereafter or next incarnations. But what if it's not that way at all? What if people like these two people, did the ultimate sacrifice, not out of selfishness but out of love (and grief too) for all living beings? How would that be deemed 'wrong' and by which judge? Thank you for your writing and your deep dives and how you see and feel things. I struggle with my own pat judgment all the time - of self and others - forgetting to be gentle and stop judging. it's a continual test. It's hard to act gracefully in a place of grief and outrage and horror. The people who can navigate that with grace are my heroes.
Beautifully said. We tend to view acts through a particular framework, often one we've been raised with and uncritically accepted, and even if we may return to that perspective eventually--which is fine--I think it can behoove people to at least entertain alternative systems, cultures, religions, and world views.
This is true when people label suicide as "selfish," when in fact suicide goes against the strongest, most "selfish," human instinct: self preservation. I understand their assertion that people should "tough it out" and think of the pain and problems they will be causing for those left behind, but if someone wants to play the finger-point game (I do not), then one could conversely assert it's the epitome of selfishness to demand a loved one continue to live in torment or in the wasteland of abandoned ideals. But people who do not understand the pain or the principle that would compel a person to such action--right, wrong, or in-between--will single-mindedly continue on in their myopic, unempathetic position. As we've alluded to, there are cultures and customs (Japan comes to mind, having lived there for years.) where suicide has indeed been seen traditionally (and in some ways remains so today) as an ethical, moral responsibility in some situations. Heck, Camus famously opined in Myth of Sisyphus that "There is only one really serious philosophical question, and that is suicide."
It's a big topic, and I don't think I've even begun to scratch the surface of it here. Maybe this will fuel a future article! Either way, I too share your struggle with judgments haha. The irony being we can often be our own harshest critics, so I pray we can all do our best to become those heroes of whom you speak, without being too hard on ourselves--or others--when we fall short.
No attention, no articles, no photos, no social media posts, no news broadcasts, NOTHING is owed to a person that commits a selfish act of suicide, ever, for any reason. People that do this only deserve to be quietly removed forever from our minds, without a single precious second of our own lives wasted trying to 'understand'. Be gone. Good riddance, I say.
This is one of the most wretched and selfish comments I have read in a while, which is saying something. I do thank you for the inspiration though, as I shall not waste another precious second of my life thinking about it. All the best to you, and God bless.
I wondered who would say such a thing - then I read your substack intro; no wonder. Just because you speak truth as you see it, doesn't mean that it's truth for everyone else. You are free to quietly remove whatever and whoever you want from your mind, but it doesn't seem you can do it quietly, since here you are telling us all about it. Why?
Beautifully written as always, which makes it harder to admit that it was painful to read through this due to the subject matter alone. I initially wrote up a comment on this post, but unfortunately closed the tab before I could post it. Oh well, I'll gather my thoughts again :P
From what I've seen, the tragedy of an innocent person dying is such a truism that, paradoxically, it's all too common to "lesser evil" it away (hence it becomes easier for people to shroud the horrors of war amidst sanitized euphemisms such as 'collateral damage'); the irreducible value of a human life and all the grief associated with its loss can all be compartmentalized into something a toddler can digest. This is how we get emotionally retarded rhetoric like "why care about something on the other side of the world?". So many can't even fathom the prospect of the guy sincerely believing in this cause, to the point that they *have* to discredit him as a mere madman (which is a bit suspect, since I'm pretty sure he had to pass a mental health check to serve, though?).
Yet, all the more tragic to me is the willingness to replace every waking moment (and one's existence) with an undeniable finality. In Mr. Bushnell's case, it seemed to be the finality of "free Palestine", and, as Kenaz explicated, his suicide erased all else by which he'd be known. Whether people possess convictions or whether convictions possess people is a whole can of worms, but what got to me was the number of people, who, because they didn't resonate with the cause, ended up disregarding Bushnell's humanity and meming his death to "own da libs" (a recent "who remembers Bushnell lmao" meme is actually what spurred me to read this article).
I also found myself asking, what *is* worth dying for? To me, it's always been that which makes life worth living. Haven't seen people ridicule Socrates for drinking hemlock and running away... I think a lot of people would clutch pearls if someone called Cassie Bernhall an idiot for allegedly martyring herself (this was debunked, but it's the narrative that counts).
None of this is to condone any suicidal mode of action, by the way, but it does strike me as odd whenever it's uncritically derided as being a *cowardly* action. Without getting too confessional, there was a time when I rationalized that killing myself would be the best course of action, but what stopped me from going through with / attempting it was the *fear* of dying (and the pain thereof), of non-existence; self-preservation instinct, perhaps, but I don't think it was *courageous*. Seems to me that it's in making the *choice* to live or to die that requires courage, while simply meandering through existence is just begging to "be squished like grape", in the words of Mr. Miyagi. Perhaps, that's the only way I can make sense of this otherwise tragic loss of life.
Poignant piece and sorry about the scatter-brained ramblings!
Tens of thousands have died in Gaza, but millions have died from the mandated toxic mRNA injections. Why didn't he protest that much larger crime?
If you want to know how you would have acted in Nazi times, you know now by your approval or rejection of the mandated injections.
Going in reverse order, I completely agree that the last few years provided terrible clarity as to how people would have acted in Hitler's Germany. And unfortunately the answer for most was: exactly like the good, little Nazis they love to wag their fingers at.
As for why he felt so strongly about that particular issue? Only he knows. And God, if you're so inclined. I do believe that, right or wrong, the old adage is largely true when it comes to how people process atrocity: one death is a tragedy, a million deaths is a statistic. Acts such as his are, in my humble opinion, rarely predicated solely on some cold calculus, on crunching the numbers, as it were, and arriving at some qualitative "greatest" or "largest" evil. Perhaps he had some personal experience or connection with the events in Gaza. Perhaps his involvement in the military. Perhaps the visceral nature of the violence there and U.S. military complicity that he felt forced his hand. Perhaps he was influenced by friends, peers, or media. Perhaps it was personal demons clouding his judgment. Again, I don't presume to have that answer, nor would I presume to tell a man what he should or shouldn't die for.
I often come back to the quote from Krishnamurti: "It is no measure of health to be well-adjusted to a profoundly sick society." Sadly, my friend, we do indeed live in a profoundly sick society, yet it is almost invisible most of the time as we are so accustomed to it. Once one begins to see it, there is no shortage of terrible tragedies all trying to pull us down to the crushing depths, nor shortage of consternating crimes being perpetrated against us, driving us to the brink of desperation and, for some, over that precipice and into the screaming abyss beyond. I wish Bushnell had not chosen that path. I do not wish that for anyone. Anyone. But, it was his choice to make: his life, and his death. His final message.(Unless, of course, terrifyingly, it actually wasn't his message but a viral narrative of sorts that hijacked him and used him for its own ends). I only hope that we can all find the strength to keep on living, and in doing so, to continue to wrestle with all spiritual wickedness in high places despite how overwhelming the number and degree. And see Fauci tried for crimes against humanity.
"And see Fauci tried for crimes against humanity."
This is by far the most important issue of our lifetimes.
It's important to jail Fauci, but he's not at the top of the genocidal grifter heap. Those at an equal level to and above him need to be tried and sentenced for such crimes as well. What's outrageous to me is that these genocidal maniacs never get prison sentences and walk free and get millions of dollars in book royalties.
I agree.
Who was directing Fauci to create the virus and the push the toxxine?
I wish I knew, but I think the players go thick and deep, considering how many administrations he has been allowed to 'advise.'
Thank youl I fully agree with what you write here.
Performative activism reaches a new low. Tragic that a young man would waste his life in such a horrific way. Imagine the hell a person would have to be living in to conceive of and go through with something like this.
Agreed.
Reminds me of this old line from a lost age in comics.
"I am alone. I look to the heavens and think them empty. And if not empty, I find the idea of worshipping whatever dwells there obscene. It doesn't change what is right. If there is nothing in this world but what we make, brothers... Let us make good." -Beta Ray Bill
Great quotation. Powerful stuff and tragically apt. I was just talking with a friend about BRB actually. I suspect that speech had to be Walt Simonson writing, right?
I have no idea. I got into comics through 4chan /co/ just in time for it to truly shit up, and proceeded to jump ship into 40k.
So I got a lot of the heartfelt messages and moments of glory, but none of the context. Except for Grant Morrison. We all deep dived on that wizard/charlatan. Hypercrisis threads were a hell of a trip.
Simonson created BRB and that quote sounds like something he'd write. He is one of the greats in my book.
As is ol' Grant! The Invisibles is my favorite comic, damn near a Bible to me haha. He's a trip, for sure. Oh, and 40K was a good landing spot ;)
When I read your thoughts, saw the images, and found myself crying throughout reading this post, I knew I had to subscribe. I'm sorry I am poor and can only be a free subscriber but thank you for writing this and honoring these men's hearts - not portraying them as madmen.
Thank you so much for the kind words and subscription. I sincerely appreciate both. And don't give the money a second thought; it may sound trite, but I am just honored that you took the time to read this and that the article resonated with you.
As a writer, I never really know how well my intent will come across, but you perfectly described what I earnestly endeavored here--to eschew the usual overbroad political pabulum and pat judgments, and instead reflect on two men whose hearts compelled them to take extraordinary action. I didn't feel like I could provide many answers, but I could at least present some unique context (being a fan of mythology) and some hopefully thoughtful questions.
The actions of these men were extraordinary (in the literal sense), worthy of attention--as I believe all lives are when we stop to look closely enough--yet still I was overcome by the Millerian tragedy of how insignificant it all felt at the same time. The bittersweet sadness of the most notable thing in one's life being their death. But, might that not then be of paramount importance in the life beyond? I felt that may speak to all of us in some way as we struggle to make sense of our lives and make the choices we'd like to define us.
Anyway, I'm getting off the beaten path here again haha. So, thanks again!
You give much thought to what you write and what you think about. How, in some circles, suicide, no matter what the intent or what is in someone's heart, as was in these two men's, is frowned upon - as 'selfish,
as 'bad karma' for the hereafter or next incarnations. But what if it's not that way at all? What if people like these two people, did the ultimate sacrifice, not out of selfishness but out of love (and grief too) for all living beings? How would that be deemed 'wrong' and by which judge? Thank you for your writing and your deep dives and how you see and feel things. I struggle with my own pat judgment all the time - of self and others - forgetting to be gentle and stop judging. it's a continual test. It's hard to act gracefully in a place of grief and outrage and horror. The people who can navigate that with grace are my heroes.
Beautifully said. We tend to view acts through a particular framework, often one we've been raised with and uncritically accepted, and even if we may return to that perspective eventually--which is fine--I think it can behoove people to at least entertain alternative systems, cultures, religions, and world views.
This is true when people label suicide as "selfish," when in fact suicide goes against the strongest, most "selfish," human instinct: self preservation. I understand their assertion that people should "tough it out" and think of the pain and problems they will be causing for those left behind, but if someone wants to play the finger-point game (I do not), then one could conversely assert it's the epitome of selfishness to demand a loved one continue to live in torment or in the wasteland of abandoned ideals. But people who do not understand the pain or the principle that would compel a person to such action--right, wrong, or in-between--will single-mindedly continue on in their myopic, unempathetic position. As we've alluded to, there are cultures and customs (Japan comes to mind, having lived there for years.) where suicide has indeed been seen traditionally (and in some ways remains so today) as an ethical, moral responsibility in some situations. Heck, Camus famously opined in Myth of Sisyphus that "There is only one really serious philosophical question, and that is suicide."
It's a big topic, and I don't think I've even begun to scratch the surface of it here. Maybe this will fuel a future article! Either way, I too share your struggle with judgments haha. The irony being we can often be our own harshest critics, so I pray we can all do our best to become those heroes of whom you speak, without being too hard on ourselves--or others--when we fall short.
[Edit: spelling]
No attention, no articles, no photos, no social media posts, no news broadcasts, NOTHING is owed to a person that commits a selfish act of suicide, ever, for any reason. People that do this only deserve to be quietly removed forever from our minds, without a single precious second of our own lives wasted trying to 'understand'. Be gone. Good riddance, I say.
This is one of the most wretched and selfish comments I have read in a while, which is saying something. I do thank you for the inspiration though, as I shall not waste another precious second of my life thinking about it. All the best to you, and God bless.
I wondered who would say such a thing - then I read your substack intro; no wonder. Just because you speak truth as you see it, doesn't mean that it's truth for everyone else. You are free to quietly remove whatever and whoever you want from your mind, but it doesn't seem you can do it quietly, since here you are telling us all about it. Why?
Beautifully written as always, which makes it harder to admit that it was painful to read through this due to the subject matter alone. I initially wrote up a comment on this post, but unfortunately closed the tab before I could post it. Oh well, I'll gather my thoughts again :P
From what I've seen, the tragedy of an innocent person dying is such a truism that, paradoxically, it's all too common to "lesser evil" it away (hence it becomes easier for people to shroud the horrors of war amidst sanitized euphemisms such as 'collateral damage'); the irreducible value of a human life and all the grief associated with its loss can all be compartmentalized into something a toddler can digest. This is how we get emotionally retarded rhetoric like "why care about something on the other side of the world?". So many can't even fathom the prospect of the guy sincerely believing in this cause, to the point that they *have* to discredit him as a mere madman (which is a bit suspect, since I'm pretty sure he had to pass a mental health check to serve, though?).
Yet, all the more tragic to me is the willingness to replace every waking moment (and one's existence) with an undeniable finality. In Mr. Bushnell's case, it seemed to be the finality of "free Palestine", and, as Kenaz explicated, his suicide erased all else by which he'd be known. Whether people possess convictions or whether convictions possess people is a whole can of worms, but what got to me was the number of people, who, because they didn't resonate with the cause, ended up disregarding Bushnell's humanity and meming his death to "own da libs" (a recent "who remembers Bushnell lmao" meme is actually what spurred me to read this article).
I also found myself asking, what *is* worth dying for? To me, it's always been that which makes life worth living. Haven't seen people ridicule Socrates for drinking hemlock and running away... I think a lot of people would clutch pearls if someone called Cassie Bernhall an idiot for allegedly martyring herself (this was debunked, but it's the narrative that counts).
None of this is to condone any suicidal mode of action, by the way, but it does strike me as odd whenever it's uncritically derided as being a *cowardly* action. Without getting too confessional, there was a time when I rationalized that killing myself would be the best course of action, but what stopped me from going through with / attempting it was the *fear* of dying (and the pain thereof), of non-existence; self-preservation instinct, perhaps, but I don't think it was *courageous*. Seems to me that it's in making the *choice* to live or to die that requires courage, while simply meandering through existence is just begging to "be squished like grape", in the words of Mr. Miyagi. Perhaps, that's the only way I can make sense of this otherwise tragic loss of life.
Poignant piece and sorry about the scatter-brained ramblings!